Words

The journey began in May 2010.
in the afternoon I saw a light moving in the trees, it was nearly a shape of a human.
I thought that I can see the Devas of the trees now.
10 min. later Vanda(his mother) called me to say that Joao had an accident and is in hospital. At that time she did not know exactly what happened and I asked her to inform me, when she knows more. Immediately I felt that something very serious happened and prepared to go to Lisbon to the hospital. On the way she told me that he fell into a pond and was 40 min. under water. I prayed the whole journey and moved into a status of tears and light, white and blue.

At the hospital the father of Vanda waited, took my things and lead me to the entrance.
He was not allowed to go in, only the parents. I saw Vanda, I saw Joao.
A 5 day process started where we prayed, sang, opened our hearts, souls and minds for this process. I felt deep love and mourning. Outside the grandparents, relations, friends and a lot of people from the kindergarden where he fell into the pond gathered
to support with prayers, songs and all we needed.

The shock for them was immens. The shock for everyone involved, for Vanda and me, for Vandas grandparents, my parents in Berlin and my brother, the relations … was immens.
During this days and until now I never really felt revenge or anger or the need to blame someone for this situation. The strongest feelings were forgiveness, love, compassion, mourning and a deep pain in my heart.

I was connected to the light world, to the other world behind and around ours where we come from. The feelings and thoughts of compassion, love and forgiveness seemed to be of the only importance for this moments to support Joao, to support Vanda and me, to support anyone else involved, to support all children on this earth, all parents.

It is the natural state of being for us humans. War, violence, hatred are on this earth because we lost the connection to our source. The energy bound in this destructive forces can be released by reconnecting with our source.

We are connected with everyone and everything around us and beyond us. Everything we do to others we do to ourselves. everything we do to ourselves we do to others, there is no seperation. Everything we do to animals we do to ourselves and others.

Everything we say and think and all our actions have an effect in this world and beyond. It is in the hands of every single one of us to change the world to a place of peace, trust, mutual support, love and beauty. A place as we could imagine the world in our deepest state of love.
As we felt it in our best moments of our childhood.
As we felt it in our best moments of the first love.
As we perceive it in our best dreams.

Any thought or words of someone who said that we should accuse someone for this
had been disturbing, small and unimportant.

We felt the importance of prayers and music to connect with the source and other people.
We sang and prayed most the time at his bed. Outside the hospital the people sang and prayed. We felt the importance to guide and accompany Joao on his journey without being disturbed by negative thoughts, words and actions.

The whole time there was divine light around his bed, blue and white.
After some days were he fought to stay on earth, where he looked if this body he is in
could be of use, he went into the light. This moment was accompanied by immens light and peace. Everything calmed down, friends connected to this process got a message from Joao through a medium:

“I’m doing very well now, my state allows me to do the best possible service to humanity.
I wish that the group thinks of my parents and gives them comfort. Tell them that they should sing a song for my parents. The song: Amen, Amen, they will then understand.”

We gathered with a big group outside, Vandas parents, relations, the people from the Kindergarden, parents from other children at the Kindergarden, they sang this song to us.

Vanda and me decided to spend his organs to children in need.

The time between hospital and the crematory.

In the days before Joaos body was burned in the crematory Vanda and me took several actions at the Kindergarden. We went to the pool where he fell in and made a ritual to release any attachment. We made a prayer and I walked with Inscense around the pool
praying for the release, praying for light and blessings, praying for peace for all children on this world, praying for the release of any attachment where it is needed. After the prayer I had the impuls to jump in the water and pray under water. After a short moment Vanda followed and I found a moment of deep connection to us and to Joao´s free soul and to a kind of eternal joy swimming and diving like dolphins around each other.
After we had been in the pool we felt the release for us and him and walked to the entrance of the preschool. I remembered when I was a child that I nearly died 2 times in water, being saved by other people.

A young man working at the preschool prepared his coffin. He did it in the shape of a small boat which we called space ship.
I also took a hand to help building the coffin, more and more parents came and also helped, it went into a common, symbolic action, saying more than words can do.
It felt good to work on the coffin and I want to give a thank for this possibility in Portugal to be allowed to do that. The father of Vanda took care for all the organisational things.

A lot of people came to the crematory. Sarah, Vera, Jackie(my 10year old daughter) and her mother Katja came from Tamera to be with me and us.
Vanda, me and Jackie went into the room where Joao´s body lay in the coffin. We prayed and Jackie asked questions about Joao, she was very strong and clear.
After a while Vanda asked everyone to come in. We made a celebration without a priest, a last good bye to his body, another detachment for his soul and for us.
Vanda sang spontanious and beautiful harmonies. Then she spoke touching words to his being. Her father spoke and we could see his love, his soul being deeply touched, we cried with him. Then I spoke my words of gratitude to his being and sang a gospel.

While his body burned in the oven we gathered outside we kept on singing and started to dance,  we put the flowers people brought in the tress and danced around the tree.

After receiving the urn with his ashes a smaller group, some people from the preschool, my daughter with the others from Tamera,  Vanda and me drove to Sesimbra to give the ashes to the sea, to a place where dolphins live. We had chartered a boat but the wind was to strong to go out to the sea, so we looked for a place to reach the water. Vanda started to put the ashes to the sea while the group sang. The urn turned round and everyone put some ashes to the sea.
We sang a final song.

In the day before the burning of his body we made a gathering in the preschool in Lisbon.
We went to the inside forest of the school area and sat in a circle in a clearing.
Nearly all co-workers of the preschool participated in this circle and we led the “Talking Stick” go round, so that everybody could express the feelings
and thoughts. There was deep sharing on many issues … our main concern was to release guilt and fear with forgiveness and thankfulness.
His death should not lead to more fear and feelings of guilt but be a contribution to release this feelings and behaviours from earth and the minds and bodies of all living beings.
We saw tears, heard old stories how fear was guiding decisions and situations, we saw laughter and release, we sang songs and for me a very impressive situation came in the end.
After nearly 3 hours of sharing we ended the circle with a song. Vanda started to weave improvised, wild sounds in the song and other women joined in the situation and a magic force began to develop.
I found myself in a circle of wild women, something really deep from an original source of female power was released in this situation.
Suddenly I had memories coming from a time where man had fear of the women because of this power. I was reminded to the times of the inquisition where man accused and destroyed women for their power.
I was and still I am deep thankful for this moment, as if another karmic node could be solved by loving and admiring women for their strong and wild original power and love.
This happened in the moment before we and other parents worked together on his coffin which was also a symbolic and meaningful action.

To be continued……..